SAME NIGHT

 Hye, it's been a long time since I write something maybe because I am so happy now. I met the right person that I should be with in my life and I love him so so much. I love him a lots than he should know because I could give him all my world just to make he happy but.. today, I'm actually feel so upset with myself. I don't know why but I feel like I make someone feels tired maybe because I loved too much. I don't know if what I do is right or wrong but I blame myself a lots. I just need someone to tell me that it is okay to feels that because your human too. Your not a robot. I want to be myself but I can't because I know I am not a good person. I know myself well. I am bad girl. I made people feel bad about me real quick. I made people crazy because of me. I made people feels mad at me. And yup.... I did all that to someone who love me. Just why... that is happen nowadays... Just why I can't make people happy just by being with me. I know I am a fun person to be with but maybe not for long life time... Maybe I am a fun person to be with,, just for a short time moment and that's it. I guess reality hit me real quick nowadays, I just want to shower the people that I loved with all the love he deserve to get but... I think I did wrong.. It's crazy how can I be sad quickly just by being ignore and I know I deserve to be ignore.. Actually, I do need attention and a lots of love now... I hate when I feel like alone.. I hate it a lots.. I dont know why but I think it hurt me a lots.. I shouldn't feel weak, I should be strong,, It's alright

Everything gonna be okay.

Everything gonna be alright.

I should be okay or I have to be okay. I have to. I can go through this today and tonight. I trust that I'm gonna be okay. Be happy. Smile. Sleep. and... just close my eyes. Stop thinking. It's gonna be okay.. everything is fine.. 

I learn today that I should always be careful. Should always be strong. Should always be okay. Should always happy. Eventhough everything didnt go like it was supposed to be. I should always be okay whenever I'm alone. I should be depends on myself. I should be independent by myself. I should always be okay when I'm alone so that no one worried. No one would feels hurt and no one will care.