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 I want to die so bad.. I want to dissapear so bad.. I want to be alone so bad.. because life just getting so hard for me to bear with the reality. I can smile but I don't feel happy. I want to live my world but I forgot that I can't do that. I have to accept that my life would gonna be like this forever. I was a cheerful girl, shy girl yet funny, I once a cute little girl that many people loved. I love myself because many people like me a lots, so I think myself is a precious. Now that, I couldn't love myself.. Everyday I feel like I shouldn't live.. I know I came from the broken family and.. I would be the person who was the saddest one. I know my siblings, mom and dad.. everyone have a hard time and I understand that but.. what about me? who want to listen to me? 

When I tell them everything, they never understand and blame me for everything.. I turn out like this, not because I want to but because of them. Because I'm just.. better not to be alive. I being making everyone mad and go crazy. I start to good at lies, I start to hate everything.