DEEP INSIDE

I wonder why I look sad.. why I feel scared.. I'm getting more scared and fobia towards people who we called human.  They are evil because they changed me to be stupid, to be painful, to be lonely, to being bad, to being sad, to being un happy and more. I started to feel like run away was the only best way for me. I taught that I finally found someone that can understand fully about me but yeah.. it's hard.. Many things I want to say but finally silent was the best way, was less painful and hurtful. I wonder who was the wrong one, it is me or other people? Am I the one who too stupid, who to selfish and too negative? My only wish in my life was to be happy but why happy sounds like a hard things for me to feel or achieve? It is because I don't deserve to be happy? I want to be gone... I want to dissapear from everyone. I want to be alone like the old me.. I miss the old me.. The one who was strong to go through everything alone.. Want to be free.. Want to be invisible.. I once taught this.. "For what I am being born in this world if many people hate me?" What is actually wrong with me.. What the hell is me.. Who I am.. What am I actually.. Keep thinking about those things until I realize.. "ahhh... I am Nobody...'' I should just live my own life.. being myself.. but yet I'm scared of those eyes that keep looking at me.. I am scared to look at.. I don't want to even know it.. I'm scared of people and I start to look like crazy.. depress..  I wonder if there are people out there who can be by my side, loved me, support me, make me happy or make me forget about all my sadness.. I want to be happy like everyone.. I want to be happy.. that's all.. that's all that I want..

Someone please help me..
Someone please save me..
I don't feel like myself..
I think that I should dissapear..
Please..
Hold my hand...
And hug me..

Wipe all my tears and make me laugh as much as I can.. Make me feel confident so I don't feel scared.. I am keep getting weak day by day.. I start to feel empty.. I don't know what I can do.. I am useless and dumb.. I am only a weak human that people said I pretend to be victim when it was true and serious.. I should just gone away.. I keep making people feel hurt... I am such a bad people.. I am bad.. I am bad.. I am useless.. dumb.. yeahh that's me.. because being too stupid.. That's great then.. I should just  hurt myself.. I hate myself.. I start to hate myself.. What should I do... This is not me.. I'm  being weird.. No.. This is not myself..

I start to...
HATE MYSELF...

If one day I'm gone, don't ever forgive me.. I am bad..
Don't even remember because I am not worth to remember....
I am just a pain to people out there..
Thank you for everything... I am happy for everything