JUST A LONELY GIRL
Hye! It’s me… I’ve got some new nickname nowadays and it called a LONELY GIRL. So, I want to tell u guys about my new semester that just had begin. I taught that I would be okay after I get used to it when my closed friend was moved to another class. She was the only one that always be with me everywhere and anytime but now.. it’s sad to think that we not really closed anymore because we both are from the different classes. But I felt more sad when I look that she was so happy even without me. She always hanging out with her classmate whenever their classes are cancel and I admit it that I am so jealous of it. She doesn’t even invite me to go with her, so we could hang out together or spend time with each other. Day by day, I feel that I am no longer being an important person to her. She just talk to me whenever she want my helps, I also want to heard her story that she tell her friend. Whenever I have a hard time, she never want to know about it anymore so I have been handle it everything alone and sometimes it just so hard for me to being alone all the times and it so damn frustrated how I always being hurt alone and always said that I’M OKAY.
I’M OKAY.
I just don’t want to show her my jealousy side and being such a clingy friend. I just don’t want her to hate me. That’s why I been quite nowadays and spend my time alone, you didn’t even bother me. The fact that you are okay now without me, it’s hurt a lots because I am not okay. You don’t even know how lonely I am without any friends. I’m going anywhere alone and I don’t feel safe walking alone. That trauma still in my mind and I am really afraid to being alone. Today, I walk back to my dorm alone and I’m enter my room. I look around and everything seen so empty, there are no one in the room. I put my back and sit on my bed while thinking… and suddenly my tears fall down. My taught suddenly came ‘Since when did this happen to me? What is wrong with me? Why I am lonely?’. It’s hurt my heart a lots to think that everyone has their own friend but why I don’t have it? Suddenly it reminds me of my past… that I lost my best friend because of the rumor that people made. Because of some bad people that hate me so much, they stole my happiness and replace it with sadness. I already suffer a lots because of that matter and I also have a problem at home. I have so many sadness moment in my life until I came up with my motto in my life that I want a HAPPINESS and FREEDOM. Happiness is not that easy to get but even a little things that people did to me already make me smile. I should find my own happiness but I can’t after people keep leave me alone. Did one day I would get someone that I really close with? Someone that would be happy just to be with me and like every little things about me and never be bored. Most important things is someone that can make me smile with just a small things.
I’M OKAY.
I just don’t want to show her my jealousy side and being such a clingy friend. I just don’t want her to hate me. That’s why I been quite nowadays and spend my time alone, you didn’t even bother me. The fact that you are okay now without me, it’s hurt a lots because I am not okay. You don’t even know how lonely I am without any friends. I’m going anywhere alone and I don’t feel safe walking alone. That trauma still in my mind and I am really afraid to being alone. Today, I walk back to my dorm alone and I’m enter my room. I look around and everything seen so empty, there are no one in the room. I put my back and sit on my bed while thinking… and suddenly my tears fall down. My taught suddenly came ‘Since when did this happen to me? What is wrong with me? Why I am lonely?’. It’s hurt my heart a lots to think that everyone has their own friend but why I don’t have it? Suddenly it reminds me of my past… that I lost my best friend because of the rumor that people made. Because of some bad people that hate me so much, they stole my happiness and replace it with sadness. I already suffer a lots because of that matter and I also have a problem at home. I have so many sadness moment in my life until I came up with my motto in my life that I want a HAPPINESS and FREEDOM. Happiness is not that easy to get but even a little things that people did to me already make me smile. I should find my own happiness but I can’t after people keep leave me alone. Did one day I would get someone that I really close with? Someone that would be happy just to be with me and like every little things about me and never be bored. Most important things is someone that can make me smile with just a small things.
Comments
Post a Comment