ALONE

I actually like to be alone a lots maybe it because I don't get that many attention from people... and I also hate attention a lots.. Sometimes when I was alone, I could do everything that I like and do something that I never done before. I like to sing a lots but I don't really like to sing infront of people and I like to dance too.. but Nowadays I don't get to do what I like because I surrounding by many people and sometimes they keep disturbing me and ask for my help.. Keep calling my name and I get tired of it.. I just want them to stop looking for me and I am not the one who can do everything they want.. There are many people there that can help them rather than me. Sometimes I do hate myself a lots because always keep thinking and get hurt easily.. I hate when I can't tell them what I feel and I keep it inside my heart, so it become more hurtful. When I was alone, I could feel freedom for myself and I don't need to do what people want. I don't need to tell everyone what I feel and I can see the world better and I am so happy just to have a free time for myself. I was the happiest person ever when I was alone. Just by doing what I like or love, it can make me be happy. I don't have many friends and I rarely meet my friend because it's not easy for me to meet my friend and I must have a reason to meet them or else, I can't go see them.. so that's why it was hard.. I am not a social person or friendly because I spend more time for myself rather than being with a people around me. Even when I go outside.. I like being with myself.. I am never get bored with myself.. Actually I've been missing my time where I was so happy. Sometimes I wish that I could turn back time to when I was the happiest person ever. My life has become a little sad and bored. Sometimes I feel very envy with people who can do what they love to do without anyone opposite them. I feel envy too with people who have such a happy family.. I wish my family is happy too but it getting hard nowdays and I don't spend a lots of time with my family because everyone keep their own bussiness... I have some problem in family so that's why it hard for me.. It always hard.. Everyday it's hard and painful. Everyday I pray that happiness will come to my family.. Everyday and Everday.. Can my family be happy? Can I be happy? Can my heart stop being so painful? I just want to be with someone that can make me forget about my bad days... is there any? Can that someone exist in my life? Can happiness come to me?...